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Figuring It Out


May 30, 2019

In today's episode, we’re talking about that ushy gushy love stuff.

 

You know that can't eat, can't sleep, reach for the stars over the fence, world series kind of love.

 

We all love love, right? We love falling into it, we love watching other people in it and we love movies about it. There’s something about love that’s comforting and fulfilling.

 

But dating, relationships, and commitment are hard. They take a lot of work, effort, and thoughtfulness. As divorce rates skyrocket and online dating surges, could we be approaching it all wrong?

 

That's why we’re not talking about the kind of love where girl and boy meet, fall in love and live happily ever after. Because, in reality, it's just not that simple and straightforward.

 

Today’s guest, relationship expert Ty Tashiro, is flipping the entire notion of "happily ever after" on its head by putting some science and algorithms behind it.

 

Ty is the author of the Science of Happily Ever after and most recently Awkward: The Science of Why We're Socially Awkward and received his Ph.D. in psychology from the University of Minnesota and has been an award-winning professor at the University of Maryland and University of Colorado. He lives in New York City.

 

While his approach may not feel like the most romantic way to think about LOVE, what he shares is really profound and makes a lot of sense. If you’re searching for “the one” but feels like you look in all the wrong places or have already have the one and are working through the challenges of building a lifetime together, I think you’ll really like this conversation.

 

Not going to lie, I think I got a personal therapy session out of this interview -- could my novelty seeking personality be steering me towards the wrong type of men?

 

You’ll have to listen to find out.

 

When you listen, you’ll also hear:

  • How adding the simple preposition “in” to the word love changes its meaning

  • Why you become a neurological hot mess when you fall in love and why that’s potentially dangerous for long term commitment

  • The power of gaining perspective in between relationships

  • How to determine the opportunity cost of your relationships and the algorithm for commitment

  • Why love might not conquer all and that’s actually a GOOD THING

  • How to make ourselves better in the context of the relationship

  • Why it’s OKAY if a committed relationship just isn’t for you and why society tells us otherwise

  • And how we can all find the perfect balance of passion and companionship for a long-lasting, wonderful, life of love and happiness together and as individuals